


I know I'm not perfect (but give it some time)

by musketrois (B_kate)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Emotional Manipulation, Friendship, Happy Ending, M/M, No Smut, Short One Shot, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 22:25:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17651027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_kate/pseuds/musketrois
Summary: He wasn’t sure if he had completely forgiven Harry for what he had done but he believed in the goodness Harry had always shown. Louis had no mystical powers. Still, something told him they were two pieces of the same puzzle. They had problems to solve but, ultimately, they were meant to fit together.OrHarry just wants Louis to stay.





	I know I'm not perfect (but give it some time)

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on _Paradoxical Perfection_ by Mursheda Ahad. You can find it in the anthology of asexual short stories called _The Heart of Aces_.
> 
> The title of this work is from the song Cross My Mind by A R I Z O N A.
> 
> Thank you to [Nic](http://louandhazaf.tumblr.com/) for editing this work.

The day Louis met Harry wasn’t special. He could have gone back to sleep when the sun woke him up that Saturday, but for once he decided to get up in time for the local market that was only open until the early afternoon.

Louis’ first stop when he arrived at the bustling town square was at a booth selling coffee and baked goods. He devoured a muffin before moving on with his coffee to browse what everyone had on display.

The square was crowded enough that he had to watch where he was going to avoid running into people. Louis loved being surrounded by all the townspeople and he enjoyed chatting with a few familiar faces and stopping to pet the friendly dogs who were out.

By the time he reached the last length of the square, Louis had filled his cloth shopping bag with an assortment of fresh produce and a soy candle he knew his mom would enjoy. He was thinking about circling back for a lemonade when his eyes caught on a crowded table ahead.

Louis patiently waited until the booth was relatively clear so he could look without jostling with other people. When he finally made his way to the table, the first thing that grabbed his attention was a display of crystal pendants that hung on differing ropes and chains to make necklaces. He knew one of his sisters had recently gotten into crystals and was debating which color to get her when a deep, honeyed voice spoke up.

“I can tell you what each crystal is for if you need help picking.”

When Louis looked away from the display, he was greeted with dimples and a charming smile. Louis took a moment to study the coffee-colored curls and shining green eyes of the man stationed behind the booth. There was no denying he was beautiful.

Louis cleared his throat. “If you don’t mind…”

The man’s smile grew., “Of course I don’t mind! It’s part of what I do.”

Louis halfway paid attention as the man began a slow ramble on the different properties of the crystals and how they helped heal the body. His deep voice was pleasant to listen to and Louis found himself distracted by the cadence. As he let the sound wash over him, Louis let his eyes wander over the other items for purchase. There was a section of jars with mysterious substances inside, each labeled with different common ailments such as headache and joint pain. Next, there were sachets of what looked like dried herbs followed by homemade lotions and then tins of tea. 

“Let me know if you’re interested in purchasing any of them.” Louis was jerked back to reality when the man finished speaking.

“Uh,” Louis eloquently said. He could have hit himself. This man had been nice enough to walk him through all these crystals and he couldn’t even pay attention long enough to act interested.

“I’m here if you have questions,” the booth owner said with a gentle smile, not at all bothered by Louis’ lackluster response.

Louis grasped for even one word he heard over the crash course in crystals. When it came to him, he blurted, “I’ll take one of the balancing ones.” It took everything in him not to sigh in relief over pulling that out of thin air. 

The man told him the total of his purchase while placing the necklace in a mesh bag. Louis silently handed over his money and thanked him once he handed back Louis’ purchase. He didn’t expect anything else from the exchange, so he was surprised when he was handed a businesses card. “Harry Styles” was written in elegant script in the middle with “traditional medicine, herbs, and more” beneath it followed by an address and contact information.

“I’ve written my personal number on the back, feel free to text me. It doesn’t have to be about crystals,” Harry said with yet another smile.

Louis felt himself blush in response to Harry’s forwardness. “I just might.”

He gave an awkward wave to the still grinning man before turning to begin his walk back home. 

-

The paper card burned a proverbial hole in Louis’ pocket for the rest of the day. He replayed the encounter over in his head but couldn’t figure out what he did to make Harry want to talk to him more. Louis wouldn’t have spared a moment for someone who acted as awkward as he had.

Once the sun was on its way down and he had set himself up on the couch with Netflix, Louis finally gave in to the urge to text Harry. He had never been good at starting text conversations with people he didn’t know, so he kept it simple.

_Hi. This is Louis, you gave me your number at the market today._

Louis was halfway through his next slice of pizza when his phone dinged with a response.

_Hello! What a lovely name._

Another text arrived before he could respond. _How was the rest of your day?_

From there, their conversation easily developed. Louis asked how Harry was able to start a business. In return, Louis told him about writing for the newspaper and his semi-successful painting career. After receiving a goodnight text, Louis fell asleep that night feeling more relaxed than ever remembered.

-

Over the next week, the pair texted throughout the day. Their conversations were easy and Louis found himself anxiously awaiting Harry’s replies. A swarm of butterflies had been let loose in his body and Louis was willing to let them fly.

Louis was working on a large canvas in his at-home studio Friday morning when the first text of the day arrived from Harry.

_How would you feel about coming over for dinner tonight?_

Louis almost dropped his phone from a mixture of shock and excitement. Harry may have been inviting Louis over only as a friend, but Louis chose to ignore that in favor of being giddy over seeing Harry that night. Once he had answered with an affirmative, they planned on a time to meet. Louis spent the rest of his afternoon painting bright swatches of color to match his mood.

That evening, Louis was freshly washed and dressed in one of his nicer outfits when he showed up at Harry’s front door with a bottle of wine. Harry was a magnanimous host, ushering him into his home while profusely thanking Louis for his gift.

“I’m glad you were free tonight. I hope you like pasta.”

Louis felt his stomach already growling from the delicious smell of garlic and tomato wafting through the house. “Love it, though I’m sure I’d willingly eat whatever you decided to make.”

“You might regret those words the day I make you try my tripe soup,” Harry quipped.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Louis laughed.

Harry made Louis sit at his dining room table while he brought the food from the kitchen. A heaping bowl of pasta and a loaf of bread were on the table. 

“Harry, this is incredible. I might show up here more often if I can get a meal out of it.” He was no stranger to freshly cooked meals, but Harry’s food blew Louis’ cooking out of the water.

Louis felt incredibly satisfied over the blush his compliment had painted on Harry’s face. He wanted to take a photo so he could pin it on the inspiration board in his studio.

“I wouldn’t mind cooking for you. It’s what friends do, right?”

He disregarded the way his stomach dropped at Harry calling them friends. It was silly of Louis to be upset over the phrase. They were friends. Maybe Louis wanted to see if they could be something more but he needed to take it slow and be comfortable being friends first.

The rest of dinner was as effortless as their texting was. There were no awkward pauses or moments where their opinions diverged too far. They bantered while putting away the food and dishes and then, at Harry’s suggestion, settled on the couch with bowls of ice cream to watch a movie. It was as close to a perfect night as someone could get and if Louis laid in bed that night lamenting that it was not a date, that was his own problem to battle.

-

Weekly dinner and a movie became their thing. They took turns hosting. When neither one of them felt like cooking, the pair made their way to one of the local restaurants before going to the movie theatre.  
Their lives fit seamlessly together. Despite this, Louis couldn’t help but think about them being more. They had known each other for a little over three months. He often wondered if he was making their chemistry and flirty banter up. Louis had tried several times to discuss the subject of romance and love with Harry, but he always turned cagey and unsubtly changed the subject. In the end, Louis decided his yearning for a romantic future with Harry wasn’t worth tarnishing their friendship if he was reading Harry’s behaviour toward him wrong. He would wait for Harry to push their relationship farther and, if he never did, Louis would have to accept it. 

-

They were halfway through a terrible action film on one of their dinner nights when Harry pulled a bracelet from his pocket.

Harry nervously cleared his throat. “I’m testing out a new product and I’d love if you wore it for me.”

Without a second thought, Louis held a wrist out for Harry to tie the object around. Once finished, Louis admired the jewelry. It was hand woven with dark purple thread and had light-pink beads evenly space around it.

“I’d love to wear it for you. Give me some of your fancy business cards so I can properly show off your work.”

Harry playfully shoved him in the shoulder and mumbled, “Thank you. I appreciate the help.”

“Don’t be modest! You know you work hard to create great things. What is the crystal for? I don’t want to sound clueless if I get asked.”

“It’s rose quartz, which is actually a mineral. It promotes love, harmony, and positivity.”

“Great! I’m feeling more positive already.” He didn’t comment on the love aspect of the quartz. Harry was flustered enough from Louis’ earlier complements and he knew a conversation on love would go nowhere. From then on, Louis kept the bracelet on his wrist at all times.

-

Over the next days, Louis became increasingly lonely for no discernible reason. He had experienced the ache of loneliness when he first moved away from home for university. During that time, he learned what self-care methods worked for him. Taking what he knew, Louis tried all of his usual routines for dark moods.

He tried a few kick arounds at the local soccer club, set aside time each day to read, and spent one Saturday relaxing at a spa to no avail. Even his passion for painting couldn’t overcome the black vortex in his chest.

Every day was a monotonous routine of going to work, coming home, and immediately falling into bed. His anxiety kicked into overdrive, because nothing was physically wrong with him. He couldn’t figure out why he felt like he was drowning when only a week prior he felt on top of the world.

There was one exception to his isolation: Harry. As soon as he saw the other man, his dread would unfurl like a flower in the spring sunshine. The promise of no longer vibrating out of his skin with all of his gloom became his medicine. Gone were the once a week meetings. Louis tried to plan something for them to do almost every night. Some days he spent his lunch break at Harry’s store for temporary relief. 

He couldn’t tell how long he had been trapped inside himself when he finally shattered at Harry’s one night.

“Harry, there’s something I need to talk about.”

Louis’ tone must have indicated his distress, because Harry immediately sat up from his spot on the couch to give Louis his full attention.

“Have you ever felt like you were the only one in the world?”

“I can’t say that I have,” Harry answered.

“Something is going on with me. It’s like there’s an enormous, insidious rock crushing me. The only time it’s gone is when I’m with you.”

“Have you considered talking with a professional?” 

“That’s the thing. I don’t think this is a mental issue? It came out of nowhere and is unlike anything I’ve struggled with before. I’m scared I’ll never be the same,” Louis quietly admitted. 

Louis’ head jerked up when a resigned sigh came from Harry. “I’m the reason you’re feeling this way.”

“Excuse me?” Louis asked with arched eyebrows.

“I’m a low-level witch. I put a spell on the bracelet to make you never leave me. It must of backfired a bit.”

“You what!” Louis shouted as he ripped the bracelet off. 

Harry looked at Louis with pleading eyes. “Lou, let me explain.”

“You’re going to tell me why you did this and then I’m going to leave and hopefully never see you again.”

Frustrated tears gathered in Harry’s eyes. “I’m asexual, okay? I can see me having so much more than a friendship with you but I knew you would leave as soon as you found out.”

“Don’t you think I should have been given a say? Do you really think I’m so shallow you couldn’t have a serious conversation about it?” Louis was getting more angry with every passing moment.

“The need to experience and act on sexual attraction is so ingrained in society, I didn’t think there’d be a conversation past me telling you...” Harry trailed off.

Louis gave a cruel laugh. “I don’t give a fuck about what society claims is normal and I certainly don’t care about sex! Simply having you in my life is a thousand times more important than anything sexual. I’ve been miserable for weeks. And for what? Because some guy couldn’t get the courage to talk to me about his sexual identity so he literally charmed me instead!”

“Please, Louis. You have to understand! I’ve never felt this way about someone before. Losing you would devastate me.” Harry cried.

“You should’ve thought about that before tying me to you with a bracelet against my will,” Louis spit. 

“Lou—” 

Before he could say anything else, Louis threw the bracelet at him and slammed out the door.

-

Days went by with unread texts and missed calls from Harry. Louis was still bubbling in rage and ignored them, eventually blocking the number.

He couldn’t wrap his mind around the situation. Harry had returned his feelings the whole time but had acted on them in the most inappropriate way possible. Yet, at the same time, Louis understood his misguided reasoning. Coming out was hard. Being vulnerable to judgment was terrifying. Louis spent many hours wishing he had gotten up the courage to ask Harry out before he was given the fateful bracelet.

Louis picked up his normal routine from before Harry came into his life. Friday nights were empty without dinner and a movie but Louis knew he would eventually move on from the disappointment. 

One Friday night, Louis found himself lying on the couch flipping through television channels, trying to ignore the lack of Harry’s soft presence when a timid knock sounded at his door. 

Louis flung open his door fully expecting to see the pizza he ordered, only to be met with a disheveled Harry Styles. He had deep circles under his eyes and greasy curls from constantly running his hands through them. His fingers were fidgeting with a bouquet of purple hyacinths. 

“Can I help you?” Louis monotonously asked.

Harry thrust the flowers toward Louis. “I came to apologize. You probably don’t want to see me but I need you to hear me out.”

“Go on.”

Louis wasn’t inviting Harry inside. He would have to grovel in the doorway for Louis to even consider it.

“Right, well. I want to start over. Even if we are only friends, I want to do this right. If I have to apologize on my knees everyday for you to willingly talk to me again, I will. I’ll regret what I did for the rest of my life but I’ll regret not trying to get you to forgive me even more."

Louis leaned against the doorframe while he thought about it. Earlier he had been thinking about Harry’s motives and he could admit they didn’t come from a sinister place. What they had before the bracelet was the most pure friendship Louis had ever experienced. 

“Okay,” he plainly stated.

Harry almost dropped the flowers in surprise. “Really?”

Louis put up a threatening finger. “There are strict conditions. One, we’re starting back at square one. We’ll talk about more than friendship only if I’m ready. Two, open communication is a must. You have to trust me enough to talk about what’s on your mind or this won’t work. Finally, If you ever put another spell on me, I’m leaving. For good.”

“Absolutely. I’m not going to fail you this time.” Harry was nodding his head so furiously, Louis was afraid it was going to fall right off his neck. He once again held the flowers out to Louis and this time Louis accepted them.

“I’ve got a pizza on the way if you want to come in. Maybe we can put a movie on, too.”

Harry gave Louis the same smile he was first enamored with when they met at the market. He wasn’t sure if he had completely forgiven Harry for what he had done but he believed in the goodness Harry had always shown. Louis had no mystical powers. Still, something told him they were two pieces of the same puzzle. They had problems to solve but, ultimately, they were meant to fit together.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://musketrois.tumblr.com/)!
> 
>  
> 
> [Rebloggable Tumblr Post.](http://musketrois.tumblr.com/post/182537673697)


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